so what happens when you are celiac, single and dating? I often wonder how much of a barrier a gluten allergy is in the dating world…is it a deal breaker? as the single side to this celiac sister duo, I used to joke that I should find my future husband at a celiac disease convention, and as the years wear on I think this could be a good idea! living strictly gluten free in the dating realm is certainly one challenge that not even the women of sex and the city could prepare me for (sorry guys).
I remember when I first found out that I have celiac disease, I was pretty worried about the impact it was going to have on my dating experiences. but on the other hand, I thought that having a severe allergy or any other disability for that matter, is a very good test of a partner’s patience, acceptance and understanding. I have been pretty lucky that my past boyfriends have been quite willing to experiment with gluten free foods and to ensure we found safe places to eat. one blind date in particular though went sour pretty quickly when he learned I couldn’t eat burgers or fries. I know there is generally more awareness of gluten free living than there used to be, but there are still a lot of people who think of it as a life sentence. to lighten the mood though, I always joke that I am either a really cheap date, or a very expensive one!
even with a partner willing to either eat or accommodate for a gluten free lifestyle, it can also be challenging to keep the spices flowing in the kitchen department. over the years I have been really encouraged by the growing selection of vancouver restaurants that offer gluten free, but for me, my safe places are still limited to a select few. mainly because when out on a date, the last thing you want to have to do is experiment with foods you are uncertain of, quiz the chef, or scrutinize the menu.
this is one of the many reasons that I wanted to start this blog, it has provided a passionate outlet for me. now I have even more reason to research new places and products every day to help keep things interesting not only for myself, but for whomever I am dating as well.
recently single and heartbroken after the end of a long term relationship, I am beginning to turn my attention forward with excitement and readiness for the challenge of dating with this gluten allergy of mine.
I have to thank andrea for carrying the load of our blog over the last few months while I didn’t have the energy or inspiration to write. I am forever changed from this experience and more passionate than ever to embrace love, life and happiness! Robyn.
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8 comments:
" I was pretty worried about the impact it was going to have on my dating experiences. but on the other hand, I thought that having a severe allergy or any other disability for that matter, is a very good test of a partner’s patience, acceptance and understanding."
I completely agree and feel the same way, too many times has a first date ended with 'oh em gee you're allergic to bread, I don't think I can handle this cooking for kids and constantly worrying whether or not I will get them sick.' from the other half of the date. Actually, it's typically shorter and less thoughtout, but basically that's what they mean. C(o)eliac Disease definitely matters. Hopefully a Gluten-Free Girl will show up soon.
-Still Waiting
Toddrick
My now husband went through the diagnosis process with me and has been great with the learning curve that we both have been experiencing since last summer.
The people willing to work with alergies/disabilites etc are definitely out there and I think it is becoming more nomalized than ever.
I won't get all Pollyanna on you but I think that some great people are out there waiting to meet other great people who happen to have allergies ec.
Okay...well trust me to bring this up...but a while back I read an article on dating with allergies and it mentioned the intimate side of such dating. i.e. no spontaneous kissing if your date ate gluten for dinner - fear of cross contamination!
thank you toddrick, tanya and cally for your comments! it is great to hear your thoughts and perspectives (including a guys view point), on this subject.
cally, i am really glad you brought up kissing! yes, it is important to make sure your partner rinses first especially if they have just eaten a lot of gluten containing foods like bread or beer. this is something that i have almost taken for granted, its just part of life now, but a great point that anyone with celiac disease should be aware of...thank you!
i hope to provide more installments of 'celiac in the city' soon...
thanks for reading and posting comments!
Robyn
LOVE hearing someone else going through this, i don't have celiac's (as far as i know - i didn't have the blood tests done until after i was already off gluten, really useful), but am on a very strict gluten free diet to help manage my IBS. and i also have other food allergies that make eating out a real challenge.
i really think it does have an impact - having to explain initially that going for a first "dinner date" isn't ideal, can oddly be something some people have a real problem with! but like you say, i think it probably helps weed out the duds a bit.
i've been mostly single for the last 3 years, and it is *manageable* while dating, but i never even thought as far as the long term implications (as i wasn't as strict with the gf part of my diet last time i was living with a boyfriend)...
thanks for sharing your thoughts ariane! i am also glad i am not alone!
Robyn
Hi Robyn, I'm so glad you wrote this article! I can relate so well to not wanting to scrutinize the menu and the chef in front of a new date! Nothing screams high maintenance like being gluten free!
I wish there were GF conventions here in Vancouver that I could attend... and maybe meet some wonderful GF man as well as get some helpful information!
You should continue a GF dating blog! I'll bet you'd have lots of followers... like me!
thanks lindsey!
i am glad that you enjoyed reading the article! i have thought about starting a gf dating blog and love that you suggested it too! maybe in time when i feel more ready to date again (i.e. still single and heartbroken :)
thanks again for your wonderful feedback!
robyn
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